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Relationships

Now this should be interesting! Before I get into this topic a few announcements and the usual mandatory disclaimer!


Exciting news! My Florida Man gear has hit Amazon! I have also included some Florida Woman gear! Along with these I also have a Keto shirt and a Carnivore one up too! Here are the links if you want to check them out... make sure to share these if you know others who may be interested-


Florida Woman Shirt

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CQY2RYC


Florida Man Shirt

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CQWVX6Z


Coffee & Carnivore Shirt

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CNLSK6C


Ketosis Fueled by Beta Hydroxy Butyrate

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CLY1G4C


By the way... my cut on these is around .77cent, this is not about making money but about sharing things I love. Sort of like this blog! And.... more shirts are coming soon!


Today's blog disclaimer: I ain't your GURU! I am not a therapist, counselor, life coach, religious scholar or spiritual leader. I do not want to be your GURU or any of these things. This content is simply my personal experience based on 51 years of being a human. As with all my posts if you have strong feelings of disagreement those are your feelings not mine govern yourself accordingly.


Today I am going to share my view on relationships. In particular I am going to share one central concept... this concept is very powerful! I can fully guarantee if you follow this advice ALL of your relationships will be greatly improved!


Feel free to share this post with any friends or family who may be suffering in tough or bad relationships. This advice is for ALL relationships... relationships with your spouse, your girlfriend, your boyfriend (all 3?), your kids, even your teenage kids!.... relationships with coworkers, with your boss, even with your dog or other pets!


So what is this one central concept which has the power to positively transform ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?


Ok here it is-


RELATIONSHIPS ARE NEVER ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON, THEY ARE ALWAYS ABOUT YOU.


Read that again....


RELATIONSHIPS ARE NEVER ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON, THEY ARE ALWAYS ABOUT YOU.


However 99% of the time almost everyone goes about this backwards. Listen to anyone describe their relationship problems and you will hear this..... a focus on the other person-


"he/she is too busy, drinks, gambles, cheated, is messy, is lazy, doesn't want to go anywhere, is bad with money, stuck in their ways....etc, etc, etc!

OR-

"my boss makes 6 figures while I do all the work and make half as much", or "my coworkers are not doing their fair share", or "my dog smells", or "my boss promotes his kids" or "this waiter isn't even trying", etc etc etc.


Notice this is the opposite of how we should look at relationships. These common examples demonstrate a total focus on the shortcomings of the other person. A need to hold them accountable!


(quick additional disclaimer I am not saying you should tolerate bad, egregious behavior... indeed I am saying the opposite as you will see, read on)


So if this is how NOT to focus on our relationships how should we? The focus needs to be on yourself. On holding yourself accountable. This means of course if you are in an awful, dangerous relationship it is your responsibility to correct that situation, either with professional help or if needed by leaving it. If you do neither and stay that is totally your fault. Sorry to say that but its the truth. There are tons of organizations and agencies ready to help if you are in a dangerous personal relationship.


But oh how we love to hold other people's feet to the fire! We love to crucify the cheaters, we love to focus on the others' shortcomings. Why? Because deep down we know WE ARE CHEATING, WE ARE NOT FULLY WORKING ON OUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS.


What we need to be doing everyday is holding our own feet to the fire! Asking why have I not done this?! Why am I not working to improve my resume? Why am I not working on my self development? Why am I not reading books on how to be a better parent, partner, spouse, money manager? Why am I eating crapp food? Why am I not exercising? Why am I not getting enough down time and sleep?


Instead of focusing on others... who you cannot change one bit! We need to be focusing on ourselves. We need to stop cheating on ourselves! How the hell would you ever expect someone else to not cheat on you??? When you are cheating on your own self everyday???


When you turn the focus on your life and yourself you also create a huge power shift. The power is returned to you...whereas before all the power was held by the other person... anything they did or did not do created the current relationship state. But the reality is YOU ALWAYS CREATE THE RELATIONSHIP STATE! Once you shift the balance of power... no one can cheat on you... no one can insult you... no one can run your life... ONLY YOU CAN DO THOSE THINGS.


My theme is personal responsibility in all things. That is what being an adult truly is. Not blaming or making excuses... but taking direct, definitive action. I know my most important relationship is the one I have with the dude in the mirror... and only I can cheat on him! I pray I will hold his feet to the fire... that he will be a beast for self development, that he will treat his body like a temple and be exceedingly grateful for all the gifts God has bestowed on him. That he will work like no other to be the best person he can be... only measured against what he was yesterday. And that my judgements will be mostly directed to me.


So remember... before you complain, blame or make excuses for your relationships... the real relationship is the one with yourself. Any negative focus on others... and holding their feet to the fire is only a reflection of a total lack of internal self discipline. Stop cheating on yourself and put your own feet to the fire. Do this and watch every single relationship in your life transform. Even the one with your dog!


Make sure to watch today's accompanying vlog here- https://youtu.be/ehFxCIQzNS8


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