I am so grateful that I had a good Dad, the best Dad ever. He made plenty of mistakes and had some regrets but the important thing is he learned from them and verbally shared them with me. He shared his values. Of course he taught me a ton of technical skills- building houses, electrical, HVAC, plumbing, concrete, auto mechanics, tractor operation, castrating bulls/boars, pulling calves, fence building, chainsaw use, how to shoot and hunt etc.
But the best thing he gave me was his values. He did this through sharing them...often when he did not match up fully to them. In so doing he let me know he knew he was not a perfect Dad and I wouldn't be either. Fortunately I paid attention to most of this and came away with similar values. Different in some ways or nuances but generally the same.
Sometimes what we value can be the opposite of our parents. For some a parent who totally focused on money rears a young person who becomes a hippy. This is an example where a value in the parent may have been misplaced or askew. Although its sticky business to judge others values as "good" or "bad". I know for me I am not nearly as focused on money as my Dad but I was not a 10 year old kid during the depression either. In his later years my Dad told me his time building business was not important and I remember how he felt when he shared that.
Dad's cannot be replaced with a government check. Dad's are central to the success or collapse of a society. Not only because of their technical skills and abilities (from fighting to building)... but more so because of their ability to pass along values. There is something about a very strong man who also shows love. Its a paradox but an amazing thing. Without this example of strong love its tough for both boys and girls to hold strong, solid values as adults.
Sadly our society denigrates men, especially strong men. We need to go back to placing men in a central role in our society. Not to belittle or replace anything else, but to exalt to their true purpose. If we don't circumstances will. We are headed that way.
We have a true leadership void in our country's politics... worse than ever before. Our entire country is begging for some leaders to step up. I pray they do before things get much worse. When candidates stand up we need to ask about their values... not their policies. Rich showmen or corrupt pandering race baiters are not the values we need. Egocentric modalities or emotional victim pandering are not leadership values.
On a daily basis I examine my values. I try to make adjustments, though honestly its like changing a tire while the care is driving! But its worthwhile to try! Where am I spending my time and effort? Is it to advance my career? Is it to make $? Is it ego focused? Where you spend your time/money tells the value story. With each value my question is "Does this create a legacy?" Ask yourself if it will matter when you enter your grave? Do things everyday that create your legacy. Do this and be the Best Dad Ever.